One of the ideas in Practically Shameless that I felt it was important to include was the idea of "thinking outside the box" and what I think it really means.

I think most people think it's possible to "think outside the box," meaning, leave a problem behind by thinking in the opposite way to how you've been thinking all along.

The example I use in the book is my fear of being in groups of women. After reading a magazine article about the importance of friendships, shortly after my daughter was born, I began "thinking outside the box." I decided I could just be different -- I didn't have to be afraid of groups -- they weren't really anything to be afraid of -- all I had to do was think differently, and I could be a different person!

I came across a really good example of that today in a review of a book called Being Here by Ariel and Shya Kane in ForeWord magazine. I haven't read the book and am relying on the review to report accurately what the book says.

"When Shya Kane stopped trying to improve himself," the reviewer writes, "focusing instead of just 'being here,' he entered a different realm. He also stopped trying to improve his wife, Ariel, and she followed his lead. Based on profound life shifts from this seemingly small change, they content that full attention in, and engagement with, each omment...can lead to the heights of enlightenment. They have even trademarked the term 'Instantaneous Transformation,' the intended result."

According to the review, the Kanes' previous books include one titled Working on Yourself Doesn't Work. I would say that book title speaks volumes, would you agree?

What a belief in instantaneous transformation implies, in my opinion, is that we are the people we are for no particular reason. We have arrived here in this moment, with these personalities, as a result of random forces, and that therefore these personalities are easy to change "just like that." We could really be anybody at all if we just wanted to.

Jungian psychology is based on the idea that we are the people we are for very good reasons. It's because of those reasons that change is hard.

To believe that not only can I change myself instantaneously but that everybody else can do so, too, is to take it a step further. If instantaneous transformation were possible, it would presumably be possible to change everybody in the world in a relatively short period of time. We'd have world peace pretty quickly, wouldn't we? Maybe even freedom from disease?  And what might it say about the Kanes that they believe they are the very first human beings to discover a way to achieve this very new world in such a rapid way? That they have discovered something that has been unknown to shamans and medicine people for centuries, to monks and buddhas, to the Dalai Lama? I think they would have to qualify for Messiah status, wouldn't they?

In one way, it's a lovely fantasy, to think that change could be that easy. And in another way, it's really not a lovely fantasy at all, because it means we'd never have a chance to develop our Warriors. We'd never develop our real authentic selves, because it's challenge and difficulty that does that. Difficulty is self-making. It's a little like believing that the way to own an Olympic Gold Medal is to buy one in a store or find one lying on the sidewalk, and that you'd feel the same about it as does the athlete who practices for years and wins the medal at the Olympic Games.