The Practically Shameless blog

Update on the Clean Talk book

Alyce Barry — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 18:01:07 GMT

I posted to this blog last August that I was beginning work on a book about Clean Talk, the communication model we use in Shadow Work, to help people avoid and resolve conflicts.

The date of that post was August 19, and within a week of my posting it, my mother's health went into serious decline, and it became evident she was dying. She died on September 2nd, the Friday of Labor Day weekend.

I got back to work on the book a few weeks ago, but it's evident that it will most likely be a little while before my mind can be totally engaged on such an engrossing project. I still have grieving to do, and it seems that during a grieving process it's difficult to make any project proceed without difficulties.

Testimonial to "Practically Shameless"

Alyce Barry — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 17:57:52 GMT

In an email exchange this morning, I heard from a former therapist who had just finished reading my book, Practically Shameless. It's one of the nicest testimonials I've ever received. Here are excerpts.

"Funny, I'm just finishing reading your book today. I ripped thru it in 2 days (and I have an 18 month old!) and am about to do the Risk Manager exercise. I came up with about a thousand things I could be when I'm Practically Shameless. So, excited and grateful you wrote the book. Love your writing style. Thank you! . . . good luck to you whatever direction you're heading. You've left inspiration in your wake."

Donating to Wikipedia

Alyce Barry — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:55:15 GMT

I've just become a regular monthly donor to Wikipedia. The monthly amount is small, but over a year's time it will add up to something.

I use Wikipedia with increasing frequency to research or verify almost everything, from medical conditions to popular songs.

Please consider donating to Wikipedia today.

Coming book about Clean Talk

Alyce Barry — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 19:30:49 GMT

I've just published two new essays to the Shadow Work website.

A Comparison of Clean Talk with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

The Healthy Warrior in The King's Speech

Writing essays containing this kind of careful analysis is harder for me these days while I take care of my mother, and consequently it takes months longer, but I enjoy it just as much. I'm enjoying writing of all kinds right now, the words are flowing, which is so satisfying.

As a result of writing the essay about Clean Talk and NVC, I am now planning to write a book about Clean Talk.

Testimonial to "Practically Shameless"

Alyce Barry — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:11:00 GMT

Testimonial from a reader of Practically Shameless, received via email:

"I have been reading Practically Shameless and have found it extremely good. ... This text should be required reading for every certified MKP leader."

The reader also included some more personal reflections.

"Practically Shameless" now for iPad and Nook

Alyce Barry — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:02:00 GMT

Practically Shameless is now for sale as an e-book for both the Apple iPad and the Barnes and Noble Nook, in addition to the Amazon Kindle.

in iBookstore for Apple iPad -- Apple ID is 418821610
ISBN is 9780979832659

Apple's iBookstore sells the iPad version in the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, France and Germany.

Links to the other e-book editions:

for Barnes and Noble Nook

for Amazon Kindle in the US

for Amazon Kindle in the UK

"Practically Shameless" now on the Kindle!

Alyce Barry — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:01:00 GMT

I'm happy to announce that Practically Shameless is now available for the Amazon Kindle!

Here's its sale page at Amazon in the United States (for some reason the product description is missing from the page, I've contacted support)

Here's its sale page at Amazon in the UK

Thanks so much to the readers who suggested publishing as an ebook, I really appreciate it!

"Practically Shameless" now in its third printing

Alyce Barry — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 18:15:00 GMT

Books were delivered from the printer on Wednesday, and Practically Shameless is now in its third printing!

More than 2300 copies of Practically Shameless have been sold since its publication in February 2008, and I'm delighted with the response from readers. Thank you again to everyone who has sent testimonials!

If you've read Practically Shameless, please take a minute to visit the book's Amazon.com page and click "Like" (a small button to the right of the 5 stars). I appreciate it!

A holiday reminder

Alyce Barry — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 02:31:00 GMT

A reminder, that my audio CD, "Home for the Holidays: Tips for a Practically Shameless Holiday Season " is available on CD and download for as low as $9.95.

The economic downturn was already in full swing when I released the CD, so I kept the price as low as possible so that as many people as possible could afford it.

I've received some wonderful testimonials to the CD since its debut two years ago, most of them of an informal or confidential nature that I couldn't easily share.

I hope you'll decide to find out what other customers have discovered, that "Home for the Holidays " can help at a difficult time of year!

Best wishes for a lovely, and a practically shameless, holiday season!

Feedback from a reader

Alyce Barry — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 11:11:00 GMT

For some time I've been posting feedback I receive on Practically Shameless. I seem to have missed posting this one, received last winter, probably because I found it difficult to accept, and not deflect, such a wonderful testimonial.

"This week I read Practically Shameless. For any of you who are struggling with the feeling that they can't be creative, for whatever reason, or who, like me feel that they are the odd one out in groups, always the outsider, this book is priceless. If you want to get a feel for Alyce and her realness, have a look at her blog and if you get a chance, dip in further. I'm humbled by her willingness to be so open, and am having an interesting time exploring what that would feel like for me."

About the reference to my blog -- I have two blogs, this one and my personal blog at AlyceBarry.blogspot.com. These days, however, while I care for my elderly mother, I have less energy for regular blogging. When I write something at a deeper level, it's usually in an essay for the Shadow Work email newsletter, published about 4 times a year. Those essays also appear at the Shadow Work website on the Commentaries page.

Our current address

Alyce Barry — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 11:05:00 GMT

Current contact information for Practically Shameless Press:

Practically Shameless Press
4949 North Whipple Street, Apt 2E
Chicago IL 60625-4135

(773) 267-2478

Email from a reader

Alyce Barry — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 15:24:00 GMT

In an email this morning from a reader,

"I read your book this summer, thank you for writing it! I am training to become a shadow work facilitator . . . Your book really helped me put the training in perspective and has helped me in talking to others about the process."

From New Zealand, a look at Dad's letter

Alyce Barry — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 12:35:00 GMT

On March 13, I wrote on this blog about a family connection to the HBO miniseries The Pacific thanks to a marketing company in New Zealand.

In this video about the ad agency working on this which contains a few typos and factual errors), over the theme music from the miniseries, there's a clip from the local news in which a news anchor holds up a letter "sent by a sergeant to his mother" and refers to "very very clever marketing."

The sergeant was my dad, and the letter he's holding up was one Dad wrote to my grandmother from Okinawa.

If you look closely you can see "Sgt John Barry" on the envelope's return address.

The agency sent copies of letters like Dad's to homes in New Zealand as a way of publicizing the miniseries, and some people got a copy of Dad's letter to Grandma.

Testimonial to the audio book

Alyce Barry — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:05:00 GMT

From a reader in New Jersey, a testimonial to the audio book edition of Practically Shameless:

"Practically Shameless is a true inspiration, may you continue blessing others with your work. A friend speaks highly of the Shadow Work Seminars, now I understand his reasoning. Regards and many blessings to you and those in your path."

I recently donated copies of both the paperback and audio book editions to the library at Evanston Friends Meeting (Quakers), and both copies are currently out on loan.

Connection to HBO Miniseries

Alyce Barry — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 14:17:00 GMT

My family has a connection to the HBO Miniseries The Pacific, which starts tomorrow night, March 14, as I described in an essay for the Shadow Work email newsletter.

Here's the essay. You'll find the letter mentioned on page 62 of the paperback edition of Practically Shameless. (In chapter 5 on audio CD.)

I'll be watching the miniseries at the home of a family member who has HBO, I expect it to be a moving experience.

Three more testimonials, one to article on holidays

Alyce Barry — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:42:00 GMT

Three more testimonials. The first, from a reader in Spain, to Practically Shameless --

"Alyce I LOVED your book and was so inspired to continue this work with this structure, thanks!!!!!!!" - E.E.

The second, from a reader here in the Chicago area, to the audiobook edition --

"I want to tell you that I have just finished CD #1, and am halfway through CD #2 - and that I am VERY moved by your story as you relate. I am very impressed with the honesty of your self-disclosure and your journey and the connections you make. I am learning a lot! Thank you for making your 'work' available to me." - P.M.

The third, to an essay I wrote about shadows as they emerge over the winter holiday season --

"Alyce, Thanks. I really enjoyed your article on the Holidays. I am not sure if I have ever heard anyone nail it so perfectly." - D.H.

I've written three articles on that topic so far (there will undoubtedly be more!), in addition to my CD on the holiday shadows, my Home for the Holidays CD. Here are the essays:

Holiday Strategies We Know and (Don't) Love
Learning About My Holiday Shadows
A Little Girl at Christmas

Some recent testimonials to "Practically Shameless"

Alyce Barry — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:51:00 GMT

I've received a number of emails from readers of Practically Shameless over the past few months. Some excerpts:

"Just finished your book Practically Shameless. Bless your sharing the journey. I found myself relieved as could relate and identify on so many levels!! (In those moments, "it got scary" as I'mthinking... 'this is it!' What she is talking about is what I havebeen trying to find words for...) I will be re-reading the book againto take it in... from a different place. I'm grateful for the clarity in describing the processes andteaching-pieces toward the end of the book. The discussion on the different strategies was immensely helpful." - J.J.

"I recently read your book Practically Shameless and found it veryinsightful. It has provided me with a better perspective about myupbringing and its effects on my adulthood. It seems that there areseveral parallels in your and my life. Thanks for your contribution tomy understanding of ME." - D.F.

"Suppose you get a lot of fan mail about your book so I won't gush toomuch - just want to say 'thanks' and let you know how much your book onshadow work has helped me." - A.E.

"Home for the Holidays" CD, this year in time for Christmas

Alyce Barry — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:05:00 GMT

A year ago at this time, I was frantically writing, recording, and editing my Home for the Holidays CD in time for Christmas. I finished the CD, and put it up for sale, with only a few days to spare.

I called it the "special preview edition" because I was planning to expand it during the year to encompass 2 CDs. I wanted to say more about group dynamics and add a few other topics, like personality types.

My life took a different turn, however, and I am now living in the Chicago area once again, and caring for my elderly mother. I won't be expanding the CD this year.

Home for the Holidays is available as a CD, still for just $12.95, and as an electronic download for $9.95. To purchase, visit the Practically Shameless Press website.

The CD can also be ordered from Amazon.com, and once Amazon has ordered copies from me, it will be available there for quick sale.

Possibility of a Russian translation

Alyce Barry — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:13:00 GMT

There's a possibility that Practically Shameless will be translated into Russian, for private distribution by the translator.

I'm honored.

Maybe another book?

Alyce Barry — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 12:20:00 GMT

A friend in Colorado, Lisa Trank, commented on this Facebook status I posted last night that it would make a gorgeous opening for a book:

Went thru Mom's storage unit today, hunting for MRI films from a brain tumor 22 years ago, didn't find any, but did find 2 of Dad's old wool Marine Corp blankets, in pretty good shape considering they lived thru wars both real & metaphorical. They smelled nice. When we were kids, they kept us warm in the back seat of the car when Dad drove us around to look at Christmas lites. Also picnics at the Wilmette Bowl.

Reading Lisa's comment, my heart lifted to think that I could write another book. When I left Colorado to move back to the Chicago area, I did so wondering if I would ever be able to publish another book, and expecting that I couldn't at least for some time. Writing Practically Shameless left me deeply in debt, and paying off that debt has been such a strain financially that it became impossible to continue my Shadow Work practice, which suffered a good deal from the recession. It seemed I needed to find a regular job, and I know exactly how hard it would be to write a book while working at a regular job, because I tried it for years, and there's little energy for the task of creating a book at the end of a work day, as I'm sure many of my writer friends will attest.

But I've got a job now -- taking care of my mother, and being paid for it by her estate -- and it's paying the bills for now, and if I wrote a book it would be about taking care of her.

As I replied to Lisa, I'm often too tired or too full emotionally to have much big-picture perspective on the process of caring for her. But I realized as I wrote that, that I could keep notes toward that end and worry about writing the book later, perhaps after she's gone, assuming I'm still around myself by that time. Her older sister Ginny just turned 97, and Mom is 86, so it could be a while. I'm 58 now, and if Mom lived to 100, I'd be 72 by then.

It comforts me to think I could write here, on this blog about publishing, any thoughts I have toward such a book. And if I get a book written, I will publish it. I don't know that I would have any lofty goals in doing so, as I did in writing Practically Shameless, when I wanted to teach people a less shame-full way to see themselves and their lives, and to describe what Shadow Work feels like, since it's always so difficult to describe. My goal in this book would mostly be to share what it was like to take care of an elderly mother and what I got from the process. Maybe that's a lofty goal as well.